“It
has been said, 'time heals all wounds.' I do not agree. The wounds remain. In
time, the mind, protecting its sanity, covers them with scar tissue and the
pain lessens. But it is never gone.”
I
wonder what made Rose Kennedy to say this. Was she betrayed by her family, friends
or both? Was she sent to Utopia where it was nothing short of a solitary
confinement? Or did she lose everything in hope of a better tomorrow? Because only
similar circumstances make you go through all this piteous healing. I believe
Countess Rose said it for me.
---*---
It
had been a month since I went into self-imposed exile. Finally my wounds were
covered with scar tissues. The pain seemed bearable. I could feel it was time
to come back to senses. And what could be better than to go home? So, I made up
my mind, packed up bags and set the heading. Throughout the journey, I kept on
thinking how would I meet them? Different ideas were pouring in from all
directions but finally, I managed to shake them off. “It is not me but them who
have to worry about all this”, I told myself.
Most
of the times, when I overthink or deliberate beyond reason I tend to overreact.
Same thing happened this time. My whole journey was spent thinking what would
happen when I’d meet my family? But nothing unusual happened. I was greeted
with same emotional welcome I was receiving for the last 10 years. Dinner
included the very same less-spicy-favorites, followed by dessert. And we called
it a night after my mother and sister filled me in with the latest gossips of
the family. “All is well”, I told myself before going to the same bed and
sleeping with same satisfaction that I always felt being at home.
After
two days it was Eid. I felt the same amount of rejoice I was used to at such
occasions since childhood. The family gathering was full of happening, as
always. Finally, things were going like they used to and this feeling lit a
light in my heart, I could feel the warmth. Though, a small incident did happen
but it couldn’t spoil the ambience my body felt to be surrounded with. I was
now more than willing to get my life back and indeed, things were turning out
my way. I joined Twitter again and apparently seemed to be in full spirit to
fly, like I used to. It was time to celebrate the Independence Day and almost
everything was back to what it used to be. And then, I met her.
---*---
Not
that I didn’t know her before, but it was the first time I noticed her in a
different way, not to forget her ever again. As they say, first of the things
are never forgotten. This was my ‘first’ time for her. Red embroidered suit and
some part of the face. I may forget her most of the upcoming pictures but
surely, I’ll never forget this one. She seemed reasonable and calculated with
her words. My first impression was of a mature lady but only half of that came
out to be true later on. She was mature but, she was just a girl. To my
surprise, she was a teenager.
Like
all other random conversations we have over social websites I was about to
forget this brief encounter when, something came to my attention. She was
tensed over something. It was obvious from her tweets. I decided to ask her and
she replied in a polite manner. Although we disagreed with each other on most
of the part, I found her to be logical and well versed. May be this paved way
to our next meetings. A couple of games, discussions and sub tweets, I started
to feel quite comfortable in sharing my expressions. And something started to
build on its own.
Our
conversations continued and one fine day I came to know about her birthday. “It
is not going to be ordinary, I promise” that’s what I said. She gave a modest
smile and we continued with other things. However, my mind was still there. I
made up my mind to make her day one of those she will never forget. I myself
believe in small acts of happiness so I decided to keep it to “sweet, simple
and silly”. That is my way of showing expression of happiness. My reserved and
nervous personality never allows me to go any further.
---*---
The
clock struck 12 and I wished her birthday. I wanted it to be simple so didn’t
say anything artificial and instead resorted to simple words and a simple card.
She didn’t reply. I decided to keep other things waiting till she replies this
one. Meanwhile, I continued with my usual business and slept late as it was
Sunday next day. I woke up around 12 and found her reply. She was happy. She
was happy not only because I wished but also because I wished her first. “It
really makes you happy when someone wishes you on exact midnight”, she told me
few nights after. She really notices even small things and this is a quality
only few possess.
I
ordered myself a chocolate fudge cake because she told me it was her favorite.
It was just a symbolic gesture otherwise I never intended to send her anything.
The day went on as usual but as the night started to come, we indulged in what
I would always refer to as “our birthday conversation”. She talked about so
many things and each thing would raise the bar of respect that I had for her. Still
I don’t know much about her but surely she possesses the right qualities in the
right quantities. An avid reader and listener of music, she can equally write
well and few of her writings that I came across really surprised me. I cannot
even imagine what she would be in a year or two.
There
is no doubt that she has been raised by good parents in a good environment. She
is a modern girl with traditions deeply rooted in her mind so I can say with
confidence that she is an excellent blend of ‘deen’ and ‘dunia’. Always in a
mood to talk and when she is not, she quietly moves away and you won’t even
find it rude. She will come on later and will make up for her absence so you
will wait for her next time when she is not there. My lack of creativity makes
me unable to write what she exactly is but I do hope that whoever reads this
will amplify the praises as she rightly deserves.
---*---
I
do not know what the future holds for us. There was a time when I never
imagined I would live without friends. But here I am, not living, but surviving,
alone. Someone who has been involved in some sort of accident can never be the
same. I think same holds for me. But still, life never lets you to have what
you are expecting, be it happiness or sadness. Maybe this is an unexpected gift
for me. Maybe life is about to unfold another drama. Who knows?
But
here is to my new friend, Hira…
