When I was a little girl, I always used to have this thing in mind that I should not cry in front of anyone no matter what, either they be my family members or my school fellows. I was 6 or 7 years of age perhaps. I used to suppress my urge to cry every time when I got wounded badly. Wounds, which I was very prone to. Wounds, which bled. Wounds, which took time to heal. Wounds, which remind you of the immense blessing of Allah that he created you with every thing so beautifully put in place. Yes, I never used to cry over the superficial wounds that I used to get quite often.
As a child, I didn't cry when I had an accident and my forehead was injured. I didn't cry when my finger was trapped in the door lock and my nail got off. I didn't cry when I once was scarred by the bangle which cut deep. I didn't cry when I fell on the road once and my knees and elbows were badly hurt. I didn't just cry. I don't like crying over such things.
I believe one should be strong to bear the pain. Be patient. Be calm. It goes away. It fades away. Body wounds heal in no time. Only scars are left which are lifeless and cold. Such wounds don't matter. Such wounds aren't vital. Such wounds aren't a thing to be afraid of. To cry on.
Then there is other pain. A pain that you feel not because you're bearing it but because you can feel the pain in others around you. You can feel for their pain. The pain that puts you more close to to the people around you than ever. The very kind of pain which renders people hopeless yet it knits a bond stronger than before among them. It's this pain that we live in families. We live in societies. We live as a nation. We feel. We are close in times of pain.
This pain makes me cry. Yes I cry. I cried when my brother had an accident. I cried when my nephew had a terrible wound on his finger that he could have lost it. I cried when my father got operated. I cried when my mother was ill. I cried when a close relative lost her third baby too. I cried. And I cry. Only because I feel.
Crying doesn't make you weak. It doesn't prove you're strong either. It's just a natural thing. Those who feel, they cry. It is all about the sensitivity. How much you're able to feel for others . This makes you human. Crying helps, sometimes.
apart from the indication that you had a bloody and brutal childhood... you're absolutely right about crying... I hope your parents are doing well now, BTW.
ReplyDeleteI remember when I was in school, I had this pokeface and I would not cry and would not show emotions (even though I'm so emotional now, i feel gay :))
Then, my father passed away... I did not cry. Not once. So that night, I still remember, I prayed (not cuz I'm religious or anything, cuz it was Ramadhan), and I cried to our Lord (tm), and asked Him to make me normal and to make me feel and empathise...
It's been kind of a curse since then. 20 years must've passed, and yet, I could cry at the sight of a poor mans torn clothes, or the looks of a hungry boy on the road seeing someone else eat.
There must be a balance in how much we feel for others. If we dont, we'll end up like hermits. or too human? Do you believe that could happen? I feel if some of us become too human , you know, feeling and stuff, we end up being used by the rest? If we become like this as a nation, that would be a different story to tell.
i think im rambling LOL> I',ll shut up.
but nice article!